-New projects coming soon. It’s good to have a collaborator!
-The oddest thing happened to me this weekend…I found myself dancing to dubstep, the EDM genre I hate. Dammit.
-This poster is my new favorite thing. It’s MINE.
It’s been ages since I wrote much of anything at all. I’ve been too busy either choking the cello into musical submission or squashing my thoughts into a text field holding only 140 characters. While I really do enjoy the exercise in brevity, there’s nothing like sitting down and flinging words around with no careful restraint or meticulous editing.
Let me begin again by attempting to describe the current state of affairs. In 42 days I leave this state. In 28 days (give or take), I leave Panera. The lease is signed. The decisions that need to be made have been made. It’s done. The only aspect of this yet to be [see:can't be] dealt with is the million different thoughts and emotions pulling me in the million different directions. As I am sitting here typing this, in my shitty apartment behind the cheese factory, with my few possessions scattered about and my cat prowling through the shadows, I am finally feeling fear.
Before, leaving this place was merely a pipe dream, an illusion held up by the passionately desperate. This time, reality all around me in the form of notice at work, boxes around the house, and deposits paid on a house. Throughout this whole process I have prided myself in keeping the sunny outlook, the positive attitude, the girlish happiness and naivete. Now with all of these tangibles around me, I can’t deny anymore that yes, I am scared to leave this place. I am scared to leave my family and friends, scared of the unknown. But these fears still fall away when compared to the excitement and curiosity and overall air of hopefulness.
“I’m going to take this opportunity and make it my bitch.”
So that whole “I’ll write tomorrow” thing didn’t happen. Family obligations and work consumed the entire month of June, and I haven’t had two minutes to sit down and write anything too meaningful, or anything at all really.
Thankfully, July has arrived. July is the month a month for preparation, of change before change. I am going to make a point to write in this as the days count down. This is huge, and I want to document my thoughts during this process.
Love.
I remembered I have a blog. I think I want to write in it.
Tomorrow.
Heh.
Dear Id,
You are doing well in school! You are (nearly) financially independent! You have wonderful friends! You are (finally) actively nurturing and pursing your musical interests.You are taking care of body and mind and I am very proud of the strides you have made. Therefore, I will (grudgingly) allow you this one little bit of (slightly, extremely) questionable behavior. Enjoy your Spring Break.
Sincerely,
The Superego
[21:23] David: i trust you
I apologize. When I started this thing I intended to write on here a lot. But truth be told I am much more a pen-and-paper girl than a blogish chick. I do like this thing, I just like to put ink to book rather than fingers to keys to screen. Writing in a notebook is much more therapeutic. Also more often than not writing (for me) is less about the result and more about the process. Sometimes pretty things do come out coherently and eloquently, but most of the time my thoughts on paper are merely chaos removed from my skull and kept safely in a notebook on my bookshelf.
This week has been way too long and awful and I am getting ill. One more day til I can enjoy a few Panera-free days. And even then I have stuff to do…
Monday is school-preparation-and scheduling day and start-that-book-on-Zen day and edit-David’s-dance-footage day.-Tuesday is fix-my-damn-car day and edit-the-Nova-Heat-show footage day and pay-all-my-damn-bills-day. Plus I just bought Crysis and haven’t finished Bioshock and need to catch up to Jake in CoD4 multi player. 
This week was awful. Tanna got fired. My iPod broke two or three weeks after the warranty ended. My cello is going back to the store and I am looking for one that is rent-to-own.
I am saddened.
Here are several favorite photos from the phone’s illicit activities this week:
Assault and Battery / Murder
Driving without a liscence
Buying Beer for Minors
Seduction
More Will Follow….rest assured.
